Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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