Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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