There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize