apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
