I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
