I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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