Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize