just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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