Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
