We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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