if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
