Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize