Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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