i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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