Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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