We named our party play list daddy issues
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
