Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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