If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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