I love black thongs
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
