So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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