What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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