I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize