In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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