Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
