Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
