yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
