You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
