ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
