You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize