angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
