So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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