this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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