Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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