oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
