who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
