i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
