It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
pray to the hookup gods
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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