He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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