Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
