I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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