I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
