then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
