Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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