I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
