I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
