I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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