nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
