she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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