she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
