dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
