HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
