very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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