I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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