going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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