Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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