hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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