whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wanna go halves on a baby?
I have demons in me.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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