where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
