worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
