Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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