How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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