I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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