omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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