now i know why i became what i already was.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
