How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
