bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
