Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
